Devil's Cartel Live @ the Fuel Cafe'

Spread the word :o)

Another Dream

Ok....

Hmmmmm....where to begin.... ??? Normally I don't remember my dreams but when I do they are generally of the strangest sort with absolutely no definite direction...

I believe that dreams are your subconscious trying to tell you something so I tend to analyse anything I can remember....see what you can make of this one ??? :o)

As far as I can remember it started with my mates and I flying to Australia...I'm not too sure if it was to immigrate or just to visit but there was a bunch of us....my 2 best mates, my brother etc...

Anyways....it seems we got there via an airship...you know like the Zeppelin....but this was quite a mother dodgy Zeppelin....it was made from standard square bar and that canvas you use for banners...to me it seemed like it was made in someone's backyard...

Unsurprisingly we crash, surprisingly we managed to get across the entire ocean and crash land in the outback !!! ...so now we are stranded, nobody knows where we are so we set about trying to fix the Airship....nothing works, the canvas keeps tearing all the time and we get no-where...that is until this chick just appears out of thin air....it would seem that this is a common occurrence in Australia and she's quite good at fixing Airships...with our help of course...

Now just to sway off the topic a bit...this girl, I know her face...I remember being absolutely infatuated with her at a time in my life but I cant remember when or where (nice guy huh)...I have a feeling that it was an old girlfriend from high school...she was Belgium or Turkish or something like that....quite a hottie in fact... smile.gif but that's just speculation...(not that she was hot but that she was the right girl in the dream...she was very hot, that is clear...)

Anyways back to the Airship....after a lot of hard work and me managing to tie myself into knots in my duvet we get the Airship together and its ready to fly....the girl turns around to me and mentions that this was all a big test, sorta like gaining a green card for the US (personally I would rather go to the US...Australia wtf ???)

She has now got to go and assess how well we did and each individual person will now either be granted or not granted a visa....I get a call and its this girl on the phone...for some reason I'm not incredibly happy about this call....there's a bit of chit chat (as there is always) and she informs me that everybody got there visa's...except for me....I'll be expected to leave Australia immediately !!! bitch !!!

And that was it...I woke up...tangled in my duvet...pouring sweat wondering wtf ???

Back up and running...

Right then...

Over the last couple of weeks, my blog has been incredibly quiet and its for no other reason than, in the retail world of advertising, October is your busiest month...basically you are preparing the gazillion ads for the xmas campaigns...its a mind numbing and painful experience fraught with client changes, badly written copy and gaudy graphics all meant to entice some poor hapless soul that is watching, to purchase a TV that's price has probably not been discounted anyway but you still get that R2000 saving and dodgy free watch... :o)

Oh how we sell our souls to pay the bills....at least I enjoy the engineering part so its not all bad, its just after the 20th client change you start getting a little jittery seeing the same ad you edited a month ago over and over and over again....not too mention what was once a fairly reasonable ad gets cut up so many times, you don't even remember what you were editing in the first place....ce la vie...

Also lets not forget the 3 solid weeks of rehearsals for the gig that did not materialise on Friday night...basically the owner, as far as I can understand, hadn't paid some outstanding bills and the authorities just shut the venue down...again...ce la vie...there will be more...at least we got some practice in before our bassists goes on his month and a half session with market theatre....all the upcoming gigs will basically solely rely on the rehearsals we have just put in...no pressure at all :o/

And finally aforementioned girl is moving out...yay!!! ...she started packing her bags last night....this was all after a rather stressful Friday afternoon....basically I found out she had been shagging her new boy in the flat after we had discussed this all and decided it was best to keep partners away until she had left...I was furious and tbh im still pretty upset....

Its not the shagging that bothers me...its the fact that she had gone directly against my wishes...I sound like a bastard I know but this is not something I would do to anybody else so I don't expect it to be done to me...well she did and now she can get the fuck out of my life because I really don't need people like that around me...

I try and surround myself with beautiful personalities and I do this for a reason...its good for the heart and soul....I don't need trailer trash bringing me down...I try and avoid those types like the plague....how she got through my defences only god know....I'll be more wary in the future...

The rest of Friday turned out brilliantly, much to my surprise... Champs and Jam were excellent companions and its just great for a guy to be surrounded by 2 beautiful girls when he is down...girls I salute you and thx for the tequila... :o)

The rest of the weekend was not bad...after Friday I decided to avoid aforementioned girl like the plague and I ended up spending the weekend with Charlie watching DVDs, morphing in front of DSTV and listening Charlie and her sister sing and play guitar together...I don't like Mondays harmoniously out of key...how does that happen ??? ...these are the moments to remember... :o)

Now that rehearsals have stopped for a time I can finally get to do what I am supposed to be doing....working on some new tracks and remixes for Voodoo...strangely im full of ideas so I guess the break from music writing has been good...

Tribulations

Artist: LCD Soundsystem
Album : LCD Soundsystem
Year : 2005
Title : Tribulations

Everybody makes mistakes
but i feel alright when i come undone
you are not making me wait
but it seems alright as long as something's happening
i try to make you late
but you fighting me off like a fire does
you try making me wait
but it feels alright as long as something's happening

get your payments from the nation
for your trials and tribulations

you try to make me wait
you come around when it's come undone
everybody makes you late
and it's never you because you're always thinking
i try making you wait
and you give me some like you give it good
everybody makes mistakes
but it seems it's mine that always keep on stinging

get your payments from the nation
for your trials and tribulations
x2

you try making me wait
but you come undone when you come undone
everybody makes mistakes
but it's always mine that seems to keep on sticking

get your payments from the nation
for your trials and tribulations
x5

www.lcdsoundsystem.com

So i'm not the only one...

I was watching 3talk last nite (its the only thing on the TV when I get home) and they had a show about infidelity...its seems that I'm not the only one that see's this as a heinous crime :o) that's great because I seriously thought I was losing touch with the outside world and that it had maybe moved past me and left me in the dark ages...it hasn't...yay for me... :o)

On that note I'm happier/ish..I have my moments...up and down like a rollercoaster and I'm heading towards that feeling im all to familiar with...denial....not denial that aforementioned girl didn't happen....but denial that I actually need somebody in my life and this is not a good place for me to be....it'll manifest into something way uglier soon where try as I might I just wont give a shit, put all my effort into other avenues and the next time I look up, 3 years have passed me by and im still single...

It wont happen this time, I have to keep a focus on myself...I don't want to seem desperate or clingy and to be honest a relationship is the last thing im looking for atm (I wasn't even wanting one with aforementioned girl though she doesn't believe it)....its just finding that right person willing to share that same headspace and cuddles... :o)

Devil's Cartel Live @ Trailerpark

Time rests for no man...

Well its back on the pull again... :o)

And for once I dont feel like an absolute whore doing it, i've always had this very negative outlook on pulling ppl in clubs...for the life of me I dont know why... ??? maybe its because you are not sure where the person's been/who they are/who their friends are etc...anyways....at Cellardoor I met someone new ?! jees...that hasnt happened in ages, spoke to someone at the bar not expecting anything and there we go...I actually went on a psuedo date with her last nite....

As it transpires, she is a nice girl but not really my type so we will just leave it at that...no glorius kiss at the end of the night so at least there is no comebacks on this....no "but I thought you liked me" scenario's...

I'm just happy it happened....there are plenty of fish in the sea and daddy's got a big fishing rod...errr....metaphorically speaking that is ;o)

Comments are back :)

Sorry about that folks...

Ouch...

I got home last nite to the sweet sent of aforementioned girl just out the shower...that can only mean one thing..a date...ouch....that stung like a bitch... :o(

Tried to get into some music programming hoping to lose my mind in it only for her to ask me where the lighter was and leave this lingering scent of perfume in the air...that was it...I got up....took my laptop with me and watched 4 episodes of lost back to back in my room with the door closed...I didn't even cook dinner...

I didn't want to know when she left, what time she got home or even what she was wearing...just outa sight, outa mind...

Why for the love of God am I'm struggling so much with this ??? ...im 30, ive been down this road many times...I should know better...

I know I'm whining but man it bites...27 days and counting...

Then there is, we shall call her Charlie...I was horribly in love with Charlie for close onto 2 years, possibly more...it wasn't mutual but I always held out and hoped that it would change...it became too much after awhile and I had to move forward...I stopped seeing her completely and although will still chat a lot on MSN im hoping to keep it that way...

She now wants to hook up again...she wants to start partying with me and well, doing all the stuff we used to do...I cant do this....I cant go down this same road with another girl again...I cant go out with someone where im wanting more and getting nothing in return and I know that in my current state I'll just fall for her again...surely she knows this... ??? why cant we just stay pen pals and just leave it at that ???

After much conniving, Im going to the Goodman gallery with her on Saturday...hmmmm..I see dark clouds ahead...

Where did all the normal girls go ??? you know the ones like your mom used to be...the ones that were happy just to get involved and see where it went ??? ...why is everything so much more complicated these days ??? "sure we can do this but" Im just so sick and tired of buts...

So does that mean that I must go against my grain and fibre and just start playing the field again...doing to these girls exactly what has been done to me...I don't believe in doing things on a whim just so I can test the water...people get hurt and I don't like to be the one doing it...but it seems in this day and age this is the norm so I might as well get used to it...

An interesting weekend

Well it all started rather dramatically...(refer to previous post)

I was supposed to go to Mr Scruff...but there were way too many things playing against the whole evening so instead ended being consoled by a friend at the Colony...male friends are great....there's no absolutely no remorse...you knew what you were getting into...she is 23...get over it...here have a drink, you'll feel better in the morning...

Woke up, bought some music gear for insanely cheap prices...a bit happier now...by the time I got back home at 10 I decided I deserved a tot or 2 of tequila...right...now to put this all together...there's always something very satisfying about putting stuff together that keeps your mind focused and amused....killed 2 hours....about time for another tequila or 3....slightly fuzzy on an empty stomach...that's muuuuuuuuch better...

I then headed to a farewell braai, took the bottle of tequila (we had become good mates you see) and some vodka with and decided to settle down to some therapeutic conversations with some mates...boy did I have it wrong...

You see In my mission to get over the aforementioned girl I managed to pick up two girls in the last 2 weeks (surprisingly there's nothing quite like a break up to set you free ?!)...girl1 just happens to be my best mates sister, nice girl and it has been heading this way for awhile...we hooked up while we were away, both slightly plastered at the time and yeah it just seemed like a great idea...girl2 I hooked up with at Red Room...way too many TVRs (Tequila, Vodka and yup...red bull) and a mate from CPT edging me on....it was fine....nothing to glamorous just a kiss with a hint for more...

It just so happened that the two same girls had to pitch up at this party...damn, probably gonna need more of that tequila now......

Up till now, the afternoon had been pleasant...my mind was off aforementioned girl and I was quite happy...This is when the afternoon/evening started to turn...girl1 decided to pronounce her undying love for me, this was not supposed to happen...bar being my best mates sister, ive known her for way too long and possibly should have never done anything in the 1st place...only after did I realise that I'm possibly not looking for a relationship...hmmmm...she burst into tears once I tried very calmly to explain the situation...this cant work....im not in the right headspace for what you want...im sorry...uhoh...girl1s friends are very bitter now...I see evil claws coming out...run...

Girl 2 by this time had had way too many jager bombs and was getting slightly touchy....girl 2 I can handle...we have the same mindset....no relationship is wanted or needed and tbh just the perfect medicine...Columbian marching ants arrived so we left and...ended up at her place...how convenient...the nite was frantic, proof to me that older women definitely do have better sex than younger ones and at least diminished my thoughts of aforementioned girl a bit...ive always held sex in high regard and possibly associated with aforementioned girl too much...not that the sex was bad...it wasnt...it was great...but I think I mightve just thought that she was the only one that could do that...now at least I can breath in a sigh of relief...there are other fish in the sea....

Sunday...whoa no hangover...but a very very busy head...oh dear what have I done !!! ...not to say that I regretted going home with girl2...I didn't...and so long as that mindset stays everything "should" be fine....I do remain sceptical though as any of my previous experiences with this kind of thing has resulted in trauma with generally me coming out as the bad one...

This weekend has taught me a few things...

A.) finding other partners may not help get over an ex
B.) im a prude and this must change
C.) girls can be fun/ish
D.) why give a flying fuck about how others feel...do they really give a shit...
E.) whenever you have more than one girl they will always end up at the same party as you
F.) stay very far away from female friends, work colleagues and best mates sisters when dealing with a break up
G.) that things get complicated very quickly
H.) I have to definitely keep this up...the only way to get over this girl is to get out...meet peeps and be active
I.) The Colony is not what I expected
J.) never....ever...date your flatmate...ever...you have no idea how much it sux to go home at night if it doesn't work out...
K.) Tequila is still a good friend of mine.