Ouch...
I got home last nite to the sweet sent of aforementioned girl just out the shower...that can only mean one thing..a date...ouch....that stung like a bitch... :o(
Tried to get into some music programming hoping to lose my mind in it only for her to ask me where the lighter was and leave this lingering scent of perfume in the air...that was it...I got up....took my laptop with me and watched 4 episodes of lost back to back in my room with the door closed...I didn't even cook dinner...
I didn't want to know when she left, what time she got home or even what she was wearing...just outa sight, outa mind...
Why for the love of God am I'm struggling so much with this ??? ...im 30, ive been down this road many times...I should know better...
I know I'm whining but man it bites...27 days and counting...
Then there is, we shall call her Charlie...I was horribly in love with Charlie for close onto 2 years, possibly more...it wasn't mutual but I always held out and hoped that it would change...it became too much after awhile and I had to move forward...I stopped seeing her completely and although will still chat a lot on MSN im hoping to keep it that way...
She now wants to hook up again...she wants to start partying with me and well, doing all the stuff we used to do...I cant do this....I cant go down this same road with another girl again...I cant go out with someone where im wanting more and getting nothing in return and I know that in my current state I'll just fall for her again...surely she knows this... ??? why cant we just stay pen pals and just leave it at that ???
After much conniving, Im going to the Goodman gallery with her on Saturday...hmmmm..I see dark clouds ahead...
Where did all the normal girls go ??? you know the ones like your mom used to be...the ones that were happy just to get involved and see where it went ??? ...why is everything so much more complicated these days ??? "sure we can do this but" Im just so sick and tired of buts...
So does that mean that I must go against my grain and fibre and just start playing the field again...doing to these girls exactly what has been done to me...I don't believe in doing things on a whim just so I can test the water...people get hurt and I don't like to be the one doing it...but it seems in this day and age this is the norm so I might as well get used to it...
Tried to get into some music programming hoping to lose my mind in it only for her to ask me where the lighter was and leave this lingering scent of perfume in the air...that was it...I got up....took my laptop with me and watched 4 episodes of lost back to back in my room with the door closed...I didn't even cook dinner...
I didn't want to know when she left, what time she got home or even what she was wearing...just outa sight, outa mind...
Why for the love of God am I'm struggling so much with this ??? ...im 30, ive been down this road many times...I should know better...
I know I'm whining but man it bites...27 days and counting...
Then there is, we shall call her Charlie...I was horribly in love with Charlie for close onto 2 years, possibly more...it wasn't mutual but I always held out and hoped that it would change...it became too much after awhile and I had to move forward...I stopped seeing her completely and although will still chat a lot on MSN im hoping to keep it that way...
She now wants to hook up again...she wants to start partying with me and well, doing all the stuff we used to do...I cant do this....I cant go down this same road with another girl again...I cant go out with someone where im wanting more and getting nothing in return and I know that in my current state I'll just fall for her again...surely she knows this... ??? why cant we just stay pen pals and just leave it at that ???
After much conniving, Im going to the Goodman gallery with her on Saturday...hmmmm..I see dark clouds ahead...
Where did all the normal girls go ??? you know the ones like your mom used to be...the ones that were happy just to get involved and see where it went ??? ...why is everything so much more complicated these days ??? "sure we can do this but" Im just so sick and tired of buts...
So does that mean that I must go against my grain and fibre and just start playing the field again...doing to these girls exactly what has been done to me...I don't believe in doing things on a whim just so I can test the water...people get hurt and I don't like to be the one doing it...but it seems in this day and age this is the norm so I might as well get used to it...
posted by fly at 10:30 PM
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