Why are some girls so promiscuous ???
In the last 4 years i've had 4 girlfriends that have slept with other guys while we have been dating...I want to know why ??? and why is it OK ??? why when asked, the girl will say "well when we started seeing each other, we werent that serious"...why is that a deemable excuse ???
I was brought up in a household where you respected the person you dated and two-timing was never an option....I once two-timed when I was in STD 8...I kissed another girl to get back at my girlfriend for rumours I heard about her with another guy....turns out that the guy in question was just a good friend and I ended up breaking her heart....after that I decided that if I ever needed something answered I would just ask the person upfront and make my decisions from there....
I've always seen two-timing in a very bad light....for me there is no excuse....you are either with the person or not, out of the 20 or so girls i've slept with, i've never two-timed once....if there was another girl that I thought would make a better partner, I would break up with the current girlfriend, not test the water first before diving in....this is unfair and disrepectful in my eyes...how would you feel if that person did the same thing to you ???
Why do I bring this all up.... ?? cos it has happened to me once again...sure nothing was serious but that is still no excuse to sleep around, I didnt, so why should she ???...modern day society has become a pretty screwed up place...being promiscuous is acceptable and two-timing is a normal occurence....sure ppl will say "that bitch" or "I cant believe that he did that" but it still happens....what happened to respect for your partner ??? in this day and age, you cant afford to accidently sleep with someone that has been around, AIDS is rife as are a host of other diseases, dont you think its unfair to possibly expose your partner to that just because you cant control your hormones.... ???
So now somebody that I respected and thought respected me has now left me feeling dirty and used....I still care for this person and will always do so, but the sad thing is, my opinion of what I considered a good friend and suitable partner has lowered substantially...all because of hormones....
Call me a prude or whatever but I dont dont believe in just hooking up a person...if I do find someone attractive its because I see qualities I respect...character, intelligence and yes, good looks...im fairly concieted that way and I dont deny it....but...once i'm involved or even romantically inclined, I switch off to what could be other possibilities....I remain faithful all the way to the end no matter what direction the relationship takes...its like owning a pet...theres a responsibilty that comes with it...i've had the oppotunities, many and i've never pursued them...I cant see why this is such a problem for others...
It pisses me off....i'm a nice guy..I dont take advantage of situations and help out peeps as best I can...I try and be as good a boyfriend as possible, maybe a bit overbearing at times but we all have our bad sides...I just dont see why, when i am like this do I get cheated on ??? maybe I should be a prick and just not give a fuck...treat my partner like shit, maybe thats the answer ??? fortunately (well I see it as fortunate) its not in my nature...deal with it Ian, get over it...well maybe at the age of 30 im just sick and tired of this piss poor behaviour and sadly (altho I really try and not let this happen) it changes my views on women in general...the next girl I date, im going to be suspicious about and you cant blame me...
Im not looking for sympathy....but to those that read this and are even considering it....just remember that what goes around, comes around....dont cry when it happens to you.
/end vent.
I was brought up in a household where you respected the person you dated and two-timing was never an option....I once two-timed when I was in STD 8...I kissed another girl to get back at my girlfriend for rumours I heard about her with another guy....turns out that the guy in question was just a good friend and I ended up breaking her heart....after that I decided that if I ever needed something answered I would just ask the person upfront and make my decisions from there....
I've always seen two-timing in a very bad light....for me there is no excuse....you are either with the person or not, out of the 20 or so girls i've slept with, i've never two-timed once....if there was another girl that I thought would make a better partner, I would break up with the current girlfriend, not test the water first before diving in....this is unfair and disrepectful in my eyes...how would you feel if that person did the same thing to you ???
Why do I bring this all up.... ?? cos it has happened to me once again...sure nothing was serious but that is still no excuse to sleep around, I didnt, so why should she ???...modern day society has become a pretty screwed up place...being promiscuous is acceptable and two-timing is a normal occurence....sure ppl will say "that bitch" or "I cant believe that he did that" but it still happens....what happened to respect for your partner ??? in this day and age, you cant afford to accidently sleep with someone that has been around, AIDS is rife as are a host of other diseases, dont you think its unfair to possibly expose your partner to that just because you cant control your hormones.... ???
So now somebody that I respected and thought respected me has now left me feeling dirty and used....I still care for this person and will always do so, but the sad thing is, my opinion of what I considered a good friend and suitable partner has lowered substantially...all because of hormones....
Call me a prude or whatever but I dont dont believe in just hooking up a person...if I do find someone attractive its because I see qualities I respect...character, intelligence and yes, good looks...im fairly concieted that way and I dont deny it....but...once i'm involved or even romantically inclined, I switch off to what could be other possibilities....I remain faithful all the way to the end no matter what direction the relationship takes...its like owning a pet...theres a responsibilty that comes with it...i've had the oppotunities, many and i've never pursued them...I cant see why this is such a problem for others...
It pisses me off....i'm a nice guy..I dont take advantage of situations and help out peeps as best I can...I try and be as good a boyfriend as possible, maybe a bit overbearing at times but we all have our bad sides...I just dont see why, when i am like this do I get cheated on ??? maybe I should be a prick and just not give a fuck...treat my partner like shit, maybe thats the answer ??? fortunately (well I see it as fortunate) its not in my nature...deal with it Ian, get over it...well maybe at the age of 30 im just sick and tired of this piss poor behaviour and sadly (altho I really try and not let this happen) it changes my views on women in general...the next girl I date, im going to be suspicious about and you cant blame me...
Im not looking for sympathy....but to those that read this and are even considering it....just remember that what goes around, comes around....dont cry when it happens to you.
/end vent.
posted by fly at 12:22 AM
5 Comments:
I completely agree with you, about it being shocking about how many people do not respect their relationships and partners, and still believe they are at liberty to cheat. They seem to feel they are justified in doing it if they do not get caught. It should be about pride in oneself & respect for one's partner that stops you, not whether you'll get caught.
I am not sure if it is a growing 'practice', or whether it is just being exposed & seen as unacceptable as of late.
I really hope & believe that I will not cheat on my future boyfriends/ spouse. I can't say I have been involved enough to know how real my chances are. We'll see i guess.
And, I'll take our her knee caps if you like...!
We are on speaking terms so no need for that :o) .....its just like I said tho...respect for yourself and respect for others, thats what makes the difference....
Anyways....so it goes I guess....
Peeps need to check the dictionary for the definitions of 'relationship' & 'commitment'.
It's an obligation you undertake of your own free choice, but once made there are certain rules, expectation and and feelings by which we all need to abide.
The problem is that people at this jucture don't start thinking 'we' but stay with the 'I'.
Whatever you do from this point onward affects both parties and this is what we need to be cognisant of. Yes, it does take work and discipline, but thats all part of the package.
If you're unwilling to give up the 'I' for the 'we' make that known at the start or whenever you realise that you can no longer maintain this trust. This is a hard part of life, but the 'we' also comes with it's own benefits.
Nothing wrong with browsing through the store but if you're going to buy, think of the effects on others.
It's possibly a result of being selfish or more likely because these days things come to easily.
Everything is 'fast' or 'instant' or 'disposable'.
Sadly relationships and marriages appear to have fallen into this category these days.
Our morales and scruples appear to have become 'temporary' or 'disposable' as well.
There is hope, it is the strength of character which we learn/gain thru life by making the right choices at the right junctures and learning from this. Sometimes these people may need to experience the pain of being the one betrayed - painful but necessary.
Else, hey, if she just wanted a non-exclusive 'fuckbuddy' or friend then state this at the outset so that you can choose whether you're comfortable with the arrangement or not.
Yes - honesty and integrity is the key and that is the betrayal that hurt the most.
I'm ranting now so I'll stop.
Good luck with it and my sympathies to her on stuffing up something potentially much more gratifying and life altering than just a quick shag.
Nuff said.
Thx RC... :o)
What I find quite disturbing is that this behaviour is becoming more and more popular ??? 5-10 years ago this wasnt the case was it ??? if I had a girlfriend she would never have cheated on me...well I say this without knowing but since i'm still mates with them now im sure it wouldve been brought up sometime...
Anyways...im still mates with this one...a little bit more suspicious but still mates...
Oh man *fly! So sorry about that one. I am an incredibly faithful person too.. Perhaps this behaviour is growing amongst woman. It's always been the case with certain men. All three of my previous partners cheated on me.
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